Guest post: ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, CDI style

by Shelley Scribbins, RN, BSN, CCDS

‘Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
patients were discharged accompanied by their spouse
All providers were documenting in their charts with care
In hope that no queries would soon be there

While the residents were all snuggled in their beds
Visions of documentation errors danced in their heads
The CDIs were at their computers waiting to tap
Knowing the doctors would soon wake with a snap

When all of a sudden, the keyboards began to clatter
We all yelled out to each other, “oh does it really matter?”
But we got so excited when we read the note by the dietician
And quickly queried for severe malnutrition

By the light of the computer, we read the reply
We all hung our heads with a heavy sigh
The doctor replied, “this was not significant
for the patient has now died”

The sweet old doc who was usually not so lively or quick
Saw us coming to round and pretended to be sick
More rapid than sepsis and shock and came
And he hemmed and hawed as he yelled out our names

Now Katie, now Keisha, now Shelley, and Heather
Oh Karen, Michelle, and Melissa, please get it together!
To the elevator he went at the top of the hall
Now dash away, dash away, and go away y’all!

As the CDI queries started to fly
We met with unanswered queries and began to cry
So up the latter the queries flew
To Dr. Aguirre and Dr. Kim who both said boo-hoo

But then in a moment of surprise
We finally were able to get a reply
The query we placed to specify mass
Came of the ole doctor with an answer, “it's just gas”

He was dressed in his scrubs from head to toe
And was covered in blood from the patients below
A bundle of prosthesis was in his sack
He looked like a thief getting ready to hack!

His eyes how they twinkled and his dimples so cherry
He finally documented and answered more queries
His droll little mouth drawn up in a smile
He said, “no problem, you were right it's just bile”

With the end of his pen held in his hand
He began to write throughout the land
He had a broad face and tight little tummy
That shook when he laughed like a wrapped-up mummy

He was chubby and plump and a right jolly old dude
And I laughed when I saw him avoiding the CDI que
A wink on his eye and a complete 360 twist of his head
Soon gave me to know he was ready for bed

He sprang to his beamer and gave a shout
As the residents gathered around to pout
As they heard him exclaim as he drove off the grounds,
“Happy Christmas to all and it’s your turn now!”

Editor’s note: This poem was written by Scribbins and submitted to ACDIS by her director, Suma Chacko, MBA, RHIA, CCS, at Baylor Scott & White Health. If you’d like to contribute a poem or column to the ACDIS Blog, contact ACDIS Editor Carolyn Riel (criel@acdis.org).